by Lord Unicron
“How you keep up with all three of us is beyond me,” Kitten said to me last night on Facebook, referring to herself, Skwirly and Sparrow.
My tongue-in-cheek answer? “Phenomenal Cosmic Powers!”
But in reality, and all kidding aside, some days I don’t know either.
Polyamory sounds awesome, and in a lot of ways it is. Being a Master sounds like nearly every red-blooded American male’s fantasy, and in a lot of ways it is. (Don’t worry, male subs, I know you’re out there. Just so happens that this isn’t your part of the show.) I have THREE, count ‘em, THREE amazing women who love and care for me, and who are loved and cared for in return. I get to pamper, spoil, discipline and have my way with them more or less at my will and whim. They’ve chosen to unite under my banner, and most of the time that’s a damned heady feeling.
Yes, stalking around at the dungeon, being waited on hand and foot by women who disrobe and clothe themselves at my command, choosing which props I want to use on this woman or that tonight, is an incredible power high unto itself. Being called “Sir,” “Sire” or “Master,” depending upon the level and intensity of the relationship, is an aphrodisiac. Knowing any one of these women will gladly take anything I need to dish out in order to show their unswerving trust, loyalty and love for me borders on the line between ecstatic euphoria and heartbreaking pain.
And then there’s the other side of it.
Consider that I, as Head and Lord of House Unicron, have three different women. That’s three different sets of personalities, feelings, needs, issues, triggers, physical problems and desires to manage and keep straight all in one place at one time. (Said place being my head.) That’s three very dynamic, strong women to command and control, because I am stern enough to weed out weakness or “doormats” pretty much immediately. “Surrender of the weak is no prize,” Master Cavalier told me more than once, and he was absolutely right. This also means that some days I have to deal with three different iterations of recalcitrant, bratty, bitchy or just outright belligerent behavior stemming from illness, poor sleep, a bad day or just waking up on the wrong side of the bed.
Now consider that not only do I have to manage all that from three separate people. I also must manage my relationship with each of them and their relationships with one another and the House as a whole. This increases the level of difficulty geometrically until some days I feel like I’m playing relationship Russian roulette on god mode. (If you’ve never played God of War, you may not get the reference.) Instead of
1 + 1 +1 +1 = 4
the math actually goes more like
x+x+x+x = x+2x+7x+15x=1
where each additional person increases the level of complication by their integer, and the net result is (or should be) a single, united House. The reason for this is not because I’m calling my girls “complications.” If I really felt that way about them, they would not remain.
I start with my relationship to myself, x. Now here comes Skwirly. There is now our relationship, her relationship with herself and my relationship with myself, so total of 3x.
Sparrow adds another degree of complexity, because there is her relationship to herself, her relationship to me, her relationship to Skwirly, the other people’s relationships with her and the relationship to this gestalt thing that we have created, thus an additional 4x for a total of 7x.
Now Kitten enters the equation and has her own x, plus her relationship to me, plus her relationship with Skwirly, plus her relationship with Sparrow, plus her relationship to the House as a whole. Then each of the other three relationships must be viewed from the other side and in relation to themselves as unique people as well, bringing us to 15x.
Imagine, if you dare, having a fourth added into the mix. I get a nosebleed and need to lie down for a solid hour in a dark room until the swimming sensation in my head passes just from trying to even attempt the calculations!
The “1” in this equation is the entire point and purpose of the exercise: a whole, unified House that moves in concert under one person’s direction and guidance. In this paradigm, that person is me. However, I am bound even more heavily than my girls are, because of the nature of my position.
As Head, Lord, Master, Dom, etc., my primary task is to make sure my girls feel safe and secure physically, mentally and emotionally. This means I need to be equally ready to dispense a gentle embrace, reasoned advice, encouragement, empathy, stern commands or anything else the situation may call for. That’s a full-time job in itself!
My next task is that of arbiter and lawmaker. The rules of House Unicron are based on common sense, consideration, respect for oneself and the other members of the House and an ongoing commitment to ensuring that my girls are made more, not less, by their association with me and my House. This means that I must serve as the ideal example for the rules I set, because if I don’t live by the code of conduct I have laid out, I have NO business ordering them to. I have to be scrupulously firm, fair and consistent in my dealings, ensuring that my girls all get more or less equal time, attention and care. I cannot let the hand with which I wield the authority they have invested in me get too heavy or my ego or temper (both of which I freely confess I possess rather more than my fair share of) get the better of my judgment. I must be patient, which I admit has never been one of my strong suits, especially when my temper is aroused.
Finally, I must dispense both rewards and discipline as per the rules. I cannot, do not and will not give discipline when I am angry or upset, nor do I reward bad behavior. Therefore, I am in a constant state of evaluation of my girls and their relative conduct both in public and private, to address their actions appropriately and at a time and place propitious to doing so. Brattiness and joking around are one thing in the car or in private, but in public, particularly in the kink scene, I have very little (read: zero) tolerance for that. In public, my House moves as one. My word is law and that’s that for that. Thus any public show of defiance is dealt with far more harshly than a similar slip behind closed doors. Equally, when my girls behave in a way that I find especially pleasing, I must ensure they receive a reward commensurate with my pleasure.
Does this sound like a lot of work?
I can assure you it is. My day normally starts between 8 and 9am, and between vanilla life, prosaic matters such as work and dealing with my own needs and wants, it’s a rare night when I’m in bed before the next day has officially started, and my girls are usually in bed and asleep or on final approach to it well before I am. As the Head of my House, I don’t get “days off.” I’m NEVER fully “off the clock,” even when I’m sleeping.
It’s a hell of a LOT of work!
But you know what else it is?
It’s probably the most fulfilling, satisfying job I’ve ever had. Watching three strong, willful, beautiful women grow into more confident, self-loving, powerful, sensual beings under my guidance and care is such a uniquely powerful feeling that I can compare it to nothing else I’ve ever known in my life. To see these same women kneel before me because they find me worthy of such adulation makes all the work well worthwhile. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t do it. The dungeons, munches, kink events and play parties I attend with my girls is my reward for all the juggling, balancing, patience and effort I put into managing my House. The nights where I order my girls to transform (that’s “strip,” to you) for anything I may choose to do to them and they do it without question or hesitation are the nights I get to blow off steam and unleash my wolf for a while. Sometimes my wolf looks more like one of these little guys…
…but that’s another story.
Sure, every so often I declare a day to recharge my batteries and restock my supply of spoons. These are the days I catch up on my reading, do completely non-BDSM, non-House-related things and trust that everyone else, being grown adults who managed to make it to their respective ages without my assistance and input, can surely make it through one day without me constantly on their asses about this and that. Of course, even then I watch carefully for emails or texts or phone calls that warn me something is amiss to such a degree that my “me time” needs to take a backseat to the emergency du jour. Those days are especially pleasant because they are so rare and thus valuable.
And you know something?
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Thank you very much for coming by. I hope you found this post enlightening and entertaining. I would love to hear your comments and opinions on what your typical day is like as a D-type, or if you’re an s-type, how does your D-type deal with these responsibilities? And please don’t forget to come by Tuesday, when I’ll be talking about how (and why) to give a proper erotic spanking!
I’ve always believed that the best chains exist in the mind and heart. Once these are forged, physical restraints become largely unnecessary. Still, sometimes there’s no substitute for some good, old-fashioned rope! If you don’t have any, you should have some in your toy bag, and you rope aficionados already know there’s no such thing as too much. Click here to start or enhance your rope play kit!