The Art Of The Mindfuck

by Lord Unicron

After a very long and strange week, we’re back on Covert and Carnal! And today, we’re going to be talking about how to set up a mindfuck scene. But first, we need to know two things:

  • what a mindfuck is
  • why it should be part of a kink scene

A mindfuck, according to the Urban Dictionary, is:

an idea or concept that shakes one’s previously held beliefs or assumptions about the nature of reality.

Sounds very simple, doesn’t it? In the kink world, a mindfuck can be very simple or diabolically elaborate. At its most basic, the idea of a mindfuck scene is to encourage the s-type to consider her reality from a completely different angle. This can be done in a number of ways. However, to get the most results and benefits from this kind of scene, the D-type CANNOT BE SLOPPY! A truly great mindfuck is orchestrated down to the last detail, a symphony written specifically for the s-type. Mindfucks can be used to modify or encourage certain behaviors, to reveal another side of the D-type, or to make the s-type look at herself in another light.

Before you engage in this type of play, it is very important to understand what the goal of the play is. All BDSM is a psychodrama to some extent, but in a mindfuck scenario, the psychodrama is the entire purpose of the performance and everything that is done, or not done, is intended to serve one singular end. Therefore, you have to understand your s-types limits, desires and fears as deeply and thoroughly as you know your own to be truly effective. While it is possible to have a successful mindfuck scene with a pickup play partner, this takes a great deal more planning and negotiation, which necessarily reduces the impact of the scene. You, as the D-type, are uniquely responsible for the success or failure of the scene, so you MUST NOT BE LAZY when planning it out.

Here are some scenarios.

Tell her exactly what you’re going to do. Then follow through.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Unicron,” you may be saying. “How the FUCK does that equate to a mindfuck?”

Okay, think it over. Most women are used to being lied to or promised something only to get something else, right? A man who says simply and directly, “I’m going to do [whatever] and follows through is the exact opposite of what her experience has led her to expect from men. Therefore, by doing that, you reassert your paradigm of reality onto her consciousness. This, in turn, forces her to see you in a different light. Something as simple as “When I get home, I’m going to put a blindfold on you, paddle you until you’re dripping wet and then fuck you stupid” can be a mindfuck if the scene is set properly.

Make her wait for it (predicament play).

Another version of a mindfuck is to tease her with something she really wants or needs. One method of this that appeals both to my sadistic streak and to my controlling nature is to have the s-type kneel before me and consume a lot of water, iced tea or soda. (Alcohol is VERY bad in this scenario, for reasons that will become clear shortly.) When I say “a lot,” I mean that she drinks until she literally cannot stay still for the need to relieve herself.

And then refuse to let her go to the restroom when she asks.

Sounds simple, right? But try it for yourself sometime. Tell yourself, very sternly, that you cannot and will not go to the bathroom until the next song’s over, the next commercial break or the credits come up. But KEEP DRINKING the whole while. When the pressure becomes unbearable, you will do absolutely anything to relieve it. So it is with your sub. She will reach a point where she will beg, plead and even cry because she doesn’t want to break protocol, but she also doesn’t want to pee on the floor. At this point, you have three options:

  • Make her do something for you first (blowjob, handjob, show her breasts, etc.)
  • Let her go but make her come right back and do something then.
  • Refuse to let her go until the situation is (to her) utterly dire.

Note: If your sub has a kidney or urinary tract infection or similar medical conditions, this may not be a good type of play. YOUR SUB’S HEALTH AND SAFETY SHOULD ALWAYS BE PARAMOUNT WHEN PLANNING A SCENE LIKE THIS.

This kind of mindfuck is very effective because it gives her the opportunity to demonstrate her commitment to you, as well as her control of herself even in extreme situations. As such, it is an interesting test to put new s-types through, as well as something to keep in your bag of tricks for nights when you’re stuck for something more innovative to do. You can add to this by having her hold your cocktail coaster with one hand, especially if your coaster is designed to be uncomfortable for her. Never underestimate the power of sensation!

Which gives us a perfectly good segue to

Sensation Play

The best sensation play demands that at least one of the senses be obscured. I find that putting on earbuds and a blindfold before engaging in sensation play focuses the s-type’s mind wonderfully on what I’m doing and encourages her to fully commit to accepting the sensations I’m giving her. Whether I’m using felt, rabbit fur, a wooden spoon, a Wartenberg pinwheel or dragging a flogger across her skin, the reactions are going to be greatly enhanced because she doesn’t have as much sensory “noise” coming at her, freeing her to experience everything I do to the utmost. This is a good warm up for electro play, knifeplay or even a session of erotic edging.

Note: Always be sure you don’t do anything to your s-type that hasn’t been negotiated previously. The goal of a mindfuck is to build trust, even when what you’re doing seems to be the exact opposite. Breaking your s-type’s boundaries by unleashing something on her she didn’t consent to can bring the scene to a very awkward halt very quickly, and is likely to damage her trust in you. Be aware!

These are just a few scenarios you could experiment with. Cosplay and consensual non-consent are other versions that are available. What kind of mindfucks can you come up with for your s-type? If you’re an s-type, what kind of mindfuck would you like your D-type to try on you? Remember, exploration is integral to this kind of play. Be open and communicate with one another, and you’ll find that the mindfuck isn’t a one-way street!

Be sure to check back on #FreakyFriday, when I’ll be writing about the psychological basis for the mindfuck and what you need to know and understand to make it work. See you then, and if you have any comments, thoughts or ideas to share, please leave a pawprint in the comments!


Lord Unicron

Props for a mindfuck can be as simple as a glass of water, or as elaborate as your twisted imagination will allow. Giving your mind some room to roam and considering various kinky applications for common toys can open up whole new dimensions of play!



5 thoughts on “The Art Of The Mindfuck

  1. Although I have never taken any of my subs through a ‘mindfuck’ I have heard stories of how this type of play has bought partners closer together. I have also heard of harrowing stories where the D-type has gone too far with the scene and really petrified his s-type. My favorite one that I’ve read about, possibly on a blog; was where the D-type tied up and blindfolded his s-type and made out through various noises such as opening the front door and putting on a fake beard etc that his s-type was being used by another. Of course he video recorded it all to show his s-type afterwards that it was all him, thus helping to cement their trust. Not sure I would ever go to these lengths, but I can think of times where I have played with sensory deprivation which has been fun, and a lot of trust needed. Good post and I look forward to reading what others have done in this field.

    Liked by 1 person

    • A mindfuck, done right, can be a very powerful force for building trust. Done wrong, it can be absolutely devastating to the s-type and the overall relationship. This is why I am HUGE on the idea that communication, personal responsibility and knowing and understanding the s-type’s limits enough to push, but not BREAK, them is crucial to making this work. It truly is an art form, and like everything else in BDSM, it is not something to be undertaken lightly.

      Thank you very much for the comment. I hope you find the offerings here informative and useful!


      Lord Unicron
      Head of House Unicron

      Liked by 1 person

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