Lately work schedules have kept me and my Dom apart this week. And neither of us are too happy about it. But this is just part of our vanilla life we have to cope with.

Not to say it’s been easy. I find myself wanting to pout and get bratty about it. These are moments when I have to ground myself in reality. There is nothing my Dom or I can do to change it.

Now on to the my real point. Sometimes I think Subs get to codependant on their Doms. I love being with my Dom and would chose that over other activities. As most subs would and the sub Dom relationship is an amazing thing. I cherish it to my very soul.

But what happens when your Dom isn’t around? How do you cope? Now I know some do just fine and if that’s you well kudos.

I’m talking to those that feel anxious, lost, sad and just flat unsettled. What is happening? You are a strong sub in the vanilla world.

I think sometimes we lose who we are as an individual when we thrive on pleasing our Dom. Now
I’m not in anyway telling you to stop pleasing your Dom. I just think we have to have time on our own to think about and spoil ourselves.

A sub needs to keep a solo live as well as the sub Dom relationship. If you don’t what will happen if that person isn’t in your life anymore? Talk about meltdown. You need to stay true to you as well as your Dom. And a good Dom should want you to take care of yourself physically and mentally.

Don’t neglect friends or family because they will be your safety net if things go bad. They will be there for you through thick and thin. Continue to nurture those relationships.

And don’t forget about your self. What makes you happy? A bubble bath, candles and a good book? Make time for those things in your life. Soon when you have spare time alone it won’t feel so strange. You will start to enjoy your alone time.

Play Safe,


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