We have moved to covertandcarnal.com
Same site and ideas just a new look. This site will stay up as an archive of past blogs.
We have moved to covertandcarnal.com
Same site and ideas just a new look. This site will stay up as an archive of past blogs.
Lately work schedules have kept me and my Dom apart this week. And neither of us are too happy about it. But this is just part of our vanilla life we have to cope with.
Not to say it’s been easy. I find myself wanting to pout and get bratty about it. These are moments when I have to ground myself in reality. There is nothing my Dom or I can do to change it.
Now on to the my real point. Sometimes I think Subs get to codependant on their Doms. I love being with my Dom and would chose that over other activities. As most subs would and the sub Dom relationship is an amazing thing. I cherish it to my very soul.
But what happens when your Dom isn’t around? How do you cope? Now I know some do just fine and if that’s you well kudos.
I’m talking to those that feel anxious, lost, sad and just flat unsettled. What is happening? You are a strong sub in the vanilla world.
I think sometimes we lose who we are as an individual when we thrive on pleasing our Dom. Now
I’m not in anyway telling you to stop pleasing your Dom. I just think we have to have time on our own to think about and spoil ourselves.
A sub needs to keep a solo live as well as the sub Dom relationship. If you don’t what will happen if that person isn’t in your life anymore? Talk about meltdown. You need to stay true to you as well as your Dom. And a good Dom should want you to take care of yourself physically and mentally.
Don’t neglect friends or family because they will be your safety net if things go bad. They will be there for you through thick and thin. Continue to nurture those relationships.
And don’t forget about your self. What makes you happy? A bubble bath, candles and a good book? Make time for those things in your life. Soon when you have spare time alone it won’t feel so strange. You will start to enjoy your alone time.
My darkside is a twisted maze of pitch black desires and needs. We all have them but we try to hide behind what society calls normal. In the end we feel suffocated and unfulfilled.
Each tunnel leads to an erotic pleasure that might not be everyones cup of tea. But for the few that crave a little pain with their pleasure, remember one thing, as long as it is safe and consensual then it isn’t wrong. One person’s kink may not be the other person’s kink but it doesn’t make it wrong. It just makes it your preference.
For me fear and domination fuel my desires to experience new things. Causes me to want to push my boundaries. Now I am not talking about doing things you don’t want to do. I’m talking about things you want to do but you may be scared to try. With the right person you can explore these new desires. You might find some things you will love and some you hate. But at least you will be pushing forward in your kink life.
You have to look for that one person that can compliment the darkness in you. It needs to be nurtured and respected. If someone doesn’t respect your hard limits then run and run fast. This is where it can become a dangerous situation. Never play with someone you don’t trust. Better safe than sorry. It can go bad really fast.
We all have a dark side we try to keep hidden from the vanilla world. They just wouldn’t understand. But to be able to share that with the right person and not be judged is very freeing to the soul. Someone that truly knows everything about you. No secrets. You can tell your deepest darkest feelings and wants to. It will open doors you never dreamed of. The person that will hold your hand through all the new and sometimes scary experiences you crave.
A relationship with the right person will complete what you feel you are missing in your BDSM life. This is geared to subs looking for the right Dom. They aren’t always easy to find but a good relationship never is. And you don’t have to have a Dom but most subs crave that dynamic. I know I do.
My fantasies can go very dark. I love to be scared. It is like a drug to me. The feeling I’m in danger really pushes me to the point of total bliss. I can’t really explain it but that fear of being in danger but also knowing I’m safe is my happy place. If you have dark fantasies like mine then make sure you are playing safe. Only play with someone you trust. Never…Never…with someone new that you don’t know yet. This is a basic rule we all should know and if you don’t then you need to educate yourself on the lifestyle. There are lots of fakes and abusers out there. Be careful.
Play Safe SK
SmittinKittinn is a submissive mosochocist that is still learning her place in the BDSM world.
Hi all Sparrow here.. Sorry I have been MIA for a bit, have been working 6 days a week at work, and most of those days have been 10+ hours…. also got sick and dealing with some of my own demons…
Recently I was asked how I could be in a Poly relationship. For the most part it is very easy, each partner is a piece of a pie, individually we bring different flavors and flair; together we make a great pie.
We all have our own quirks, needs, issues, wants, desires. It is up to our dom/Master/Sire to see that they are met to the best of his ability. Sometimes it happens quickly other times… let just say it can take a while.. In my poly life I have 2 amazing sisters, we don’t always talk daily but we can pick up as if we just talked 10 minutes ago and its been a week or 2 since we have talked. Sister interaction is one that is very important in the poly lifestyle… Communication is key… If a sister is having an extremely hard day or a bad issue has arisen… The others respect her enough to back off their needs, wants, desires or issues with the dom/master/sire… This is something that has been unspoken in my sister relationships. we didn’t bring it up and say “hey when I’m having a hard time can you chill off of him?” nope its something that has never been discussed its just given. Respect and communication is key for us.. When one or both is not given it can cause issues…. Issues that end up ruining something that was once great.. and can ultimately destroy it.
To anyone that is interested in poly, a piece of advise would be to have all members/potential members sit down and talk… Secrets, lies, and mistrust can ruin something that is potentially great. What may be good for one, may not be good for all.. When in a poly family/relationship… your not the only one effected by your decisions/choices..
Have any questions? Remember you can email us at email@example.com
Have a great week everyone hope to see you next week, same time, same kinky place.
While 50 Shades of Grey did open some peoples eyes to the fact that there is other possibilities in sex lives and experiences it didn’t open them a lot. (Note: I dislike how fake 50 Shades is ). Today at work my co-worker we will call “D” asked me if I was still going to dungeons. I have had some health issues lately and she knows of them. Anyways I told her not recently because my favorite dungeon is currently undergoing some remodel. Her remark “So your done with that type of lifestyle.” I started laughing and told her “Nope, I still get beat and love it. Just don’t get to as long as we would at a dungeon.” The look of shock on her face never gets old. She is a bible thumper when it suits her. When she can benefit from it. She even asked me today if when my dungeon opens up that I love to go to, will I be willing to take her with me… UHHHHHH NO!!!! why would I be willing to share something that intimate with someone I truly despise and dislike with a purple passion… Seriously dungeon time is my time to decompress. Yes I get to please my Dom, I get to give him a gift of beating me and liking it. I get to share some intimate time with him, and experience something that has become addicting. But at the same time it is time I can be free from daily struggles, issues, and responsibilities. The weight of vanilla life is left at the door, I don’t have to think, decide or care. (Don’t get me wrong my children are always first and most important. and anytime they call when I am not with them I answer. My Dom and I both insist upon it. Kids first!) I can be free and fly as directed by my Dom.
Informing and sharing this lifestyle with the vanilla world is a bit funny, yet worrisome. I still worry somewhat about being judged, and things in my vanilla life changed because of it. Do I give up my desires to please my Dom, to be beat by him, to crave his touch before, during and after a scene? No I don’t. I juggle life and the many lemons life throws my way. I had been in the closet of the scene for 4 years, when I came out of that closet, it was to only a few people. Now I am waving my BDSM flag proudly. My children are the only ones in my life that don’t know what I do, and that will stay that way until they are old enough to truly understand. Vanilla life and BDSM can mix if you add the parts correctly..
I need to change paths tonight. My Dom has issued an order of an assignment which has a timeline on it.. better get to reading and writing.. Good night all..
Remember any questions, comments, concerns send us an email. Covertandcarnal@gmail.com
Hello all from Sparrow
I have been asked several times what my number one rule is for being on either side of the slash….. COMMUNICATION
It doesn’t matter if you are dom/master/daddy.. etc or a sub/slave/babygirl.. etc.. Communication is what makes the world go around. There is a big danger in not having communication; boundaries could be crossed, injuries sustained, desires not fulfilled.
Before you begin to play or enter a relationship, a contract should be created after a lengthy discussion. This contract should be straightforward and to the point of what each party wants to get out of the relationship, and what each party wants or is willing to do to obtain that goal.
BDSM can change a person…. Before I met my Sir, I was a Domme as I told you before. I didn’t have to listen to anyone, what I said was rule. Communication and rules were to be followed or punishment was to be issued. When I met my Sir, it was to have him be my submissive, but as you can see that didn’t happen. When we met I couldn’t see him as my submissive, but i could definitely see myself as his.
Thru communication we have been able to over come minor as well as major road bumps, and bruises.. (Some bruises are pretty and feel great!) If we did not have communication, the wonderful house I am apart of would be a memory…
It has been a rough few days and it is taking its tole on me… Good night sweet ones, and naughty ones…
Remember if you want to ask questions email us…. firstname.lastname@example.org
Ever have those feelings that you want to be spanked one minute then the next you want to spank someone else? That is a mixture of what a Switch goes thru daily, even multiple times a day.
Hi I’m Sparrow, I am an honored and chosen submissive to Lord Unicron. When I met Lord Unicron, I was actually a Domme. Yes, you read that right a female Dominant. I have been in the BDSM scene for 4 years. 90% of those years I was a submissive. Then one day a friend’s brother asked me to dominate him. Thus began my time as a Domme. In any relationship there are ground rules to be set and followed from day 1 of the relationship. Most can be adjusted with consent from both parties. Some are firm and stay that way. But we will touch on this in another blog at a later date.
As a Dom/me one of the most important things to keep in mind is the care that the submissive/slave needs. 50 Shades of Grey only touched on possibilities and then smashed other truths. My advice; if you haven’t watch or read it… DON’T! It shows a life that is all rosy and happy. When in truth the lifestyle is hard work! Some days I have questioned “why am I doing this?” And others I am “WOOO HOOO I rock this”
When I met Lord Unicron, we together had a long discussion as to my role in our relationship. I felt that with him it was best to be his submissive if he chose to keep me. I actually asked him to be my Dom! It shocked both of us as it isn’t what we intended our relationship to be.
Being in a poly relationship is hard work all on its own without mixing in anything sexual. I am lucky to have my sister Skwirly who is Primary. For those that do not know what that means in a poly relationship, it is exactly what it means anywhere else. Skwirly is the alpha female in our family. She was chosen by Lord Unicron first, and has been with him longer. I am Secondary, again just like in other aspects of life, I met Lord Unicron second. Then we have Lord Unicron’s Trainee, Kitten. She is a friend that has taken an interest in the lifestyle and because there are many scary weirdos out in this world Lord Unicron took him under his wing to show the ropes. Hehehe ropes… Ropes can be very fun….
We are introducing something new… If you have questions, comments, concerns or are curious about something… Email us… If it is for someone specific, please note their name in the subject line. Our Email is: Covertandcarnal@gmail.com
I will leave your minds to wander for tonight. I promise to be back next Wednesday with more …